Lonliness

A terrible lonliness has payed a visit. I didn't sleep last nite and I'm scheduled for a cortisone shot

in my spine this week because of pain. I attended a gentle memorial service  today that broke into my heart

with old grief and longing for God. What to do? I want to be with someone who loves me. It feels like

someone took a knife and cut open an old wound. Why now, God?l